- Welcome to the world, little Ginevra! I hope you and Mommy Helen are doing fine on your birth day! And happy birthday Dad!
- Some cool workspaces that definitely beat mine!
- Lifehacker details why the improved Google Reader could be better than Bloglines (I’m not jumping ship yet)
It started with a mojito.
Ok, it started with two mojitos.
Wait, first let me back up. I’ve been hearing a lot about how fellow expats, especially the Americans in comparison to Italian women, are fat. Nay, OBESE. I know the stereotypes and when I go home I’m reminded even more that we are just plain bigger, but it seems like every time I turn around someone is talking about the eating habits of the Americans. Unfortunately I do nothing to break the stereotype because I’m not a size-2 myself.
One of my girlfriends who was enviably underweight before getting pregnant got the what-all from her doctor for having gained too much weight during the pregnancy. But she looked great, or in technical terms, “glowing.” Another is being told to lose weight during the last months of her pregnancy. A few of my good friends have gained up to 50lbs being pregnant and lost it all in the first few weeks afterward. Everyone is different, and everyone gets a bit of a grace period after, anyway.
I imagined there must have been a memo of some sorts in the hospitals from the Ministry of Health in Italy:
To all OB/GYN Doctors:
Just to reconfirm, pregnant women gaining too much weight is bad. The ideal target is 8-10 kilos from their pre-pregnancy weight, provided they are not already overweight. If in fact they are already overweight, tell them to try and work down to this target weight during the nine months.8-10 kilos is plenty since the baby itself is going to weigh 4-5 kilos, and then we’ll give them a few extra for the water weight and an extra-large gelato (they have those urges, you know). If expectant mothers go above these levels, it is URGENT that they are informed about the IMMEDIATE perils their bodies are in. Note: Especially mention their unborn children here. This usually makes the mother react with more caution, even fear, and will be more willing to listen to possible treatment options.
I’m sure with a little extra attention on each of your parts, we’ll duly address the issue and improve.
Continue to do what you do best!
The Ministry of Health
But back to the mojitos.
A week or two ago I was at a networking event and I was trying to meet people. Women, in fact. (Working ladies and all that) Strangely, I had to be really aggressive to actually meet anyone since they were grouped in fours and fives as they came in and looked like they had no intention of moving around and actually networking.
The Silicon Valley MBAer in me didn’t sit too well with that.
I actively made the rounds, wedging myself into unclaimed space in a standing circle, plopping down on an unused couch cushion. I met some nice people but I didn’t let myself get comfortable and kept moving around – this group usually charges for its events and I felt it best to get a feeling for some of the mini-groups to see if there was a reason to come back (and pay the high membership fee).
I started talking to a journalist who works for a male fitness magazine, and she was very simpatica, friendly. That’s when the mojitos took over my verbal skills.
“I used to take the shuttle to your company, and it was always filled with models,” I reminisced. Her English was pretty good, and she seemed to be understanding pretty well, or at least her eyes appeared to focus on my face. “Sometimes it would be male models, and that was a good day!”
“Yes, they were coming for our casting calls. I wanted to write for this magazine because I like fitness but I haven’t been doing much but editing.”
“You like fitness? I just found a gym and I’m so excited about it!” I must have told everyone about this already. She was someone new, so she couldn’t have known.
“Really? Do you run?” She was looking at me skeptically….wasn’t she? She couldn’t know how fast I was going on the treadmill that morning or that I had run a half marathon before.
Mojito: You could tell her. It would be so easy.
“Ya, I miss it because I used to do it a lot back home. Company softball league, high school sports…You know, we Americans play a lot of sports growing up.” Note to viewers at home: Italian high school sports are almost non-existent.
“Oh, do you run a lot?” She’s definitely looking at me like I’m full of it. The patriotism(?) inside of me is welling up. I can’t let another Italian walk around with the stereotype of Americans and our physical fitness.
Mojito: Alright, I’m stepping in. Prove it. You know you can.
“Yeah, actually, my legs are pretty strong.” She takes an obvious look at my legs. Of course you can’t tell anything from that, so I tell her the mojito tells her, “Go ahead, feel.” She does, and thankfully the mojito doesn’t cause me to be called a liar, but I felt like that didn’t accomplish much and my fellow expats were not avenged.
One of the things that makes me mad is this NEW, IMPROVED, all-encompassing whizbang method for determining if someone is “normal” or “overweight” or “obese.” The BMI.
My BMI is wedged (too) comfortably in the “Overweight” category, but how can something be so accurate by only considering two factors….height and weight? To me, BMI is a bit like the pregnancy memo above. Take two factors (BMI: height, weight; weight gain guidelines: starting weight, being pregnant=yes) and apply a general rule to everyone.
I know that in Spain they just did a crackdown on models with BMIs of less than 18, and I thought this was an interesting gesture (it was really nothing more than that, let’s be honest), but at the same time I thought, how can they compare every woman from every part of the world with this simple calculation? This is discrimination that would not be tolerated in any other population subset, especially when applied to a job search. One of my colleagues is tiny. Tiny! But lord…she’s got a butt!!! Her body is storing fat somewhere.
So pulling my leg out (can I say that?) may have been a bit much, but that’s the circus freak in me. I have to admit I’ve done this before, and I’ll continue to do it. I’m tired of people judging me and others like me strictly on how much elevator space my body takes up, rather than what it’s composed of and what I can do with it.
Now, I’m not saying I don’t need to lose weight. I do. But I’d rather have what I have than a stick-thin figure and get winded on a flight of stairs. So I’m concentrating on being in shape first. And fighting stereotypes one mojito at a time.
Am I wrong? Who thinks BMI is useful? Should we only gain 8-10 kilos regardless of body type when pregnant? Can we discriminate against models based on a calculation?
Everything I read when I was pregnant said that babies are healthier when moms gain *at least* 30 pounds during pregnancy….. I gained closer to 50, and lost 30 of it the first two weeks. I lost another 10 over the next few months, but then one of the Great Lies did me in.
They said that once the baby started eating solid food, my appetite would decrease accordingly.
HAH. Then I wasn’t nearly cautious enough after that, and, well, that’s how I got here…… One can get used to eating as much as one wants of everything, and … well, at some point one has to STOP that. Preferably after fewer than five pounds added………
But it wasn’t that weight gained during pregnancy stayed.
This was absolutely hilarious! And the point certainly touched a nerve with me. I’m on the heavy side and whenever I visit Italy I have been tell me openly that I should lose weight. This is very much in contrast to the North American attitude where your appearance is your business.
The whole weight/pregnancy thing is just ridiculous. Women should not be forced to fit a certain image when they’re pregnant.
Ok a couple of things coming from your biased brother.
1)Women are catty, men like to be alpha male; these can traits can come about when interacting with people who have an agenda to establish a rank and file mentality even when engaging in casual interaction. I love women of all shapes and sizes, aslong as they hold themselves above the appearance of a piece of shit, in fact I have a soft spot for Italian women…ummmmm. If any person tells me I am fat or need to work on this or that, I enjoy telling them to fuck off, I no longer require their interaction. Now the way this woman off handedly insulted you was uncalled for but expect women to treat other women like this(I know you know this shit already)
2) You are not fat. If you didn’t have curves I would think you were not related to me or mom or dad. It is not an excuse to blame genetics and nurture, however stop empowering those around you to make the decision of what You think of your body! We are all different for the right reasons, I hate to see you as a beautiful person question your physical make-up and draw negative energy from it!!! Its all how you feel, empower yourself, I love you….
Only time will tell if I end up with a whopper of a kid or not. Lots of Italian women in the South are big and so it’s all a regional thing I think. I do not want to buy a new wardrobe after the kid is born either.
No one wants to gain too much weight and eating well in Italy is much easier. There are not as many types of junk foods as there are in the States, I mean I could use a Twinkie right about now. Eating well is delicious here and so I think a lot of doctors opertate on stereotypes, I am a 5’7″ Chinese lady not a tiny one but they still tell me I am delicate, what!!!
Good news, there is a new trend of not looking at the BMI alone. They are now looking at how much fat is around your heart and for that they use the waist/hip ratio.
From http://www.peakperformance.on.ca/cjohtv/ctv_weights.htm#waist
Waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) is the ratio of a person’s waist circumference to hip circumference, mathematically calculated as the waist circumference divided by the hip circumference. For most people, carrying extra weight around their middle increases health risks more than carrying extra weight around their hips or thighs. (NOTE: Overall obesity is still more risky than body fat storage locations or waist-to-hip ratio.)
I am so happy to be a pear!
I’m with you. I’d much rather be in shape. I look younger because I have muscles and some fat on my body.
Perception is a funny thing. In Los Angeles, I’m a whale at a size 6 or 8 (depending on the cut). One of my good friends, who is British, thinks she can’t get any dates in L.A. because she’s a 4. Several high profile celebs wear double-zeros. It’s madness. Don’t get me wrong, some women are naturally thin but most women here are starving themselves to fit some ideal of beauty. It’s not healty. Sorry I love to eat too much. I will move out of L.A. before I start treating food like an enemy.
The ban on very thin models in Spain was a reaction to Fashion Week in New York. The women there were so thin, audiences were gasping. These crazy designers have lost their minds. Instead of people talking about the clothes, everyone was talking about the emaciated girls coming down the runway.
I do agree that it is not good that the majority of American adults are obese. The diet industry is so huge (no pun intended) but yet we keep getting bigger. I think most americans have a screwed up relationship with food. Why is this? What is it about our culture?
I dropped a size when I was in Rome despite eating pasta and gelato everyday. The minute I got back to Los Angeles, I gained the weight back and then some.
An interesting and entertaining post.Thanks.
I live in France surrounded by stick insects. I’m definitely overweight but as I get fatter everytime I diet, I’ve learned to accept the weight thing.
Pregnancy-ummmm. I put on about 17 kilos with both mine. Lost it too but my skin and boobs were saggy afterwards. With hindsight I wouldn’t do that again. French women who take the doctor’s advice don’t have that pouchy tummy after.
I’m often amazed by people who feel able to ask me if I’ve tried to lose weight, this diet, that diet. I don’t think I’ve ever passed a personal remark about anyone that wasn’t positive though after reading your brother’s comment I’m going to work at it….
Angela
I’ve never liked the BMI. At 5′ exactly, I feel that I get screwed right from the start. ;) PS LOVE the trailer home office on the cool workspaces link! I want one!
I like people with big hearts.
Thanks everyone for the comments…sometimes I get a little carried away but it needs to be said. :) Jay, thanks for the comments, you de-lurk in the right times. :)
I can’t properly comment on this post… I just can’t! The humor (ok, blame it on the mojitos!) is just priceless. I’m in tears! ;-)